Fort Kochi, Kerala, India 2012 - Multi Tool

The tool I have, not earned in the usual way from direct toil, but from perseverance, time spent. It is not mine to use for personal gain, but to help others. Previously, it has helped return a broken-down 4WD to the road, so a Bogan, his pretty Bogan wife, and their cute Bogan child could continue their journey and enjoy a night at the speedway. Today it solved an Indian man's plumbing problem.

While in Fort Kochi staying in my usual digs — Onion Skythings — taking in the street life below from my first floor balcony, I observed the chap next door — the owner of a private residence — struggling to separate two pieces of plastic pipe. I watched from above, unobserved from below, while he twisted and turned the pipes attempting to pry them apart with a screwdriver. A cautious "halloo" from me to catch his attention turned his and his wife’s gaze upward. Shirtless, my toned athletic body must have appeared to glow in the reflected late afternoon light. I displayed to them my shining silver tool and its magical transformative properties. As a sign of not only my omnipotence, but of my never-ending love for my believers, I allowed the tool to drop to earth. They were in awe, and appeared to worship and pray to me.

Using my tool to grasp the pipes in a vice like grip, he was transformed, if but for a few moments into a demi-god. My powers, transferred through the conduit of the tool, gave him not only the skill of a great artisan, but also the strength of ten men. With a few well-judged twists and tugs, the pipes are separated — his gratitude was indescribable.

I can only imagine that to them I appeared to be a god like creature. I was on a higher plane, my skin glowed even in daylight, I spoke in a tongue unfamiliar to their ear, and I possessed a magical tool.